Here’s some memorable quotes by the late great George Carlin:

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. [George Carlin, from the album “A Place For My Stuff”]

Religion convinced the world that there’s an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there’s 10 things he doesn’t want you to do or else you’ll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! …And he needs money! He’s all powerful, but he can’t handle money! [George Carlin, fromalbum “You Are All Diseased” (it can also be found in the book “Napalm and Silly Putty”.]

“Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money.” — George Carlin.

StarMuscle.com loved and will continue to love George Carlin. As a fellow free speech activist, us and George Carlin like to point out the idiocies of society, and the world. Carlin was the William Shakespeare of comedy and brought the dick and fart jokes to a whole new level. He was often copied, bt never duplicated, although Dennis Miller tried.

We are predicting that George Carlin was killed, murdered by the US Government. This heart attack seems a little too convenient. Star Muscle demands an autopsy.

NOW THAT’S A SHOW!

Mario Lopez Is The Hottest Bachelor:
He’s got charisma, dashing dimples and a rock hard body, so it comes as no surprise that People magazine has named “Extra’s” own Mario Lopez their hottest bachelor! Of course, this is old news to his female fans. Mario, 34, recently called it quits with “Dancing” beauty Karina Smirnoff after two years together and said of the split, “I’m so focused with work — I’m not even thinking about any sort of romantic relationship.” He could make any straight guy turn gay …..WHOOOOHAAA!

Mark Walberg Bitching In The Public:
Last week Mark Wahlberg was quoted as saying he was mighty annoyed by his neighbors, the Beckhams, and all the paparazzi they have trolling the neighborhood. He supposedly said that he wishes they would move back to the UK, but that Britain doesn’t want them, either. Maybe he is just jealous that the media doesn’t find HIM interesting anymore.

Is it true you turned down the chance to be in the Ocean’s films? Yeah - and it was well worth it! The second one sucked! People tell George Clooney it’s great, but we all know it sucked. I made two bad movies instead - Planet Of The Apes and The Truth About Charlie - but doing that was better than sitting with Brad and George, telling the press how great everybody is! “We were in Europe, George was funny, then we had some wine…” - that’s not for me. I do love those guys, but I had to step out on my own.

What an A-HOLE! It is not like Marky Mark has ANY real talent anyways. Nothing like pissing off Clooney and all the other top stars that starred in that film.

Lance Armstrong Humping Kate Hudson:
We’ve all done it — that embarrassing walk out of your boyfriend or girlfriend’s dorm room, hoping no one would see slinking out after spending the night.Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong went through the same thing yesterday — except with dozens of paparazis. I didn’t know she rose the Tour de Lance….

Who is Jimmy Kimmel Blowing To Stay On The Air?
ABC has extended Jimmy Kimmel Live! for another year, keeping the show on the network until 2010 according to Variety! This guy has been lifting Howard Stern bits for years, all at the same time acting like his friend. I have never been impressed with his mediocrity.

Kid Rock Boycotts iTunes:
“It’s based on an old system where iTunes takes the money, the record company takes the money, and they don’t give it to the artists,” he told BBC News.“Back in the day, we all know the stories of the Otis Reddings and Chuck Berrys and Fats Dominos who never got paid,” he continued. “So the internet was an opportunity for everyone to be treated fairly, for the consumer to get a fair price, for the artist to be paid fairly, for the record companies to make some money. “I will be on iTunes eventually because I can’t avoid it, but I like to always stick to my guns and prove a point and do something original and because I believe in it.” Will Kid Rock be the new Metallica, where the public hates him. Kid Rock should be happy that people are DUMB ENOUGH TO EVEN PAY FOR A SONG ON ITUNES. Piss off Mr. Rock. This is coming from someone that makes ALL HIS money sampling other people’s music.

Britney Spears To Sell Her Home:
Well, if her Dad has his way that is. Britney Spears might be selling her Studio City home (think ambulances and shaved heads) according to recent court papers. People Magazine has a source claiming that Daddy Spears said his latest intentions are to sell that home and give Britney more privacy. It was not immediately clear where she intends to move. But a source close to Spears said, “Having more privacy and wide open spaces for her to raise her boys has been a goal for some time.” Her neighbors are rejoicing in the possibility of her leaving.

Velvet Revolver Needs New Singer:
Since it was revealed two months ago that singer Scott Weiland had been excised from Velvet Revolver, the rest of the guys have been searching for his replacement. They hosted auditions and even rejected an offer from reality-TV producer Mark Burnett, who wanted to make VR the subject of his next “Rock Star” series.Not long after Weiland’s departure, guitarist Slash stated that VR would be using the Internet to audition potential frontmen, adding that the band was even toying with the idea of launching a Web site, where audition videos could be posted for public review. That site never took off, unfortunately, but there are still hundreds of aspiring singers out there who are all at the band’s beck and call, should the Revolver need them.

Queen Latifah Jenny Craig Weight Goals:
Rapper turned movie star Queen Latifah signed on as Jenny Craig’s latest spokeswoman in January of this year. The entertainer - real name Dana Owens - has reportedly reached her weight loss goals and is continuing her mission of encouraging others to lead a healthy lifestyle.Latifah, who is known for embracing her curves, stressed that her weight loss goal wasn’t “about getting skinny.” Just remember you can’t never be skinny enough or make enough money

Naomi Campbell Settles Out Of Court:
Naomi Campbell has settled a case with her former housekeeper after being accused of racial and sexual discrimination. Slovakian maid Ivana Lovas took Campbell to court, saying the supermodel made her life a “living hell” in the four months she was employed by her.

Snoop Dogg’s Wife Arrested:
Snoop Dogg’s wife, Shante Broadus, was arrested Saturday on suspicion of drunk driving. She was pulled over in the early hours of the morning while driving in Fullerton, CaliforniaBroadus, who was alone in the car, was detained and booked on charges of driving under the influence. She was released later that day, pending a court appearance, according to Starmuscle.com.

Mike Tyson Paid To Have Someone Killed:
A government witness testified yesterday that former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson put up $50,000 for a hit on gang members suspected of killing his bodyguard in 2000. The allegation was made by Dwayne Meyers, a reputed former member of the Cash Money Brothers gang, the AP reports.”We got word Mike Tyson and [another man] had both contributed $50,000 apiece for the murders of Cash Money Brothers,” said Meyers.

Big Shaq Has A Big Heart:
Basketball star Shaquille O’Neal is seeking to assuage the nationwide mortgage crisis by offering to buy the mortgages of homeowners who are drowning in high interest rate loans.”I want to come in not to kick them out, but to work with them and save them so they can stay in their homes,” O’Neal told the Orlando Sentinel during Tuesday at Orlando City Hall.Shaq’s plan is to sell the homes back to the troubled homeowners with more affordable terms, and turn a small profit for himself in the process.

Jackson was named worst, even with convicted murderer Scott Peterson - who killed his wife and unborn child - on the list.

Maxim editors write, “Dangling a baby out of a Berlin hotel window! We’re not sure what’s crazier: Michael’s unique approach to parenting, or the fact that a woman was willing to carry the children of a twice-alleged child molester.”

The ten worst dads, according the Maxim, follow:
1. Michael Jackson - Kiddie-fiddler who dangled his own child out a hotel window. You’re bad all right, Mikey. Really really bad.
2. Scott Peterson - Murdering his wife and unborn sonParenting is a tough job, but this guy didn´t even give it a try. We remember weekends at the beach with our dads going differently
3. Marvin Gaye Sr.- for shooting his son (OK, that definitely counts!)
4. Joe Simpson - We’re allowed to talk about Jessica’s funbags. You aren’t. Creep.
5. Kurt Cobain - Worst moment: Shooting his daughter´s inheritance in the face. He not only abandoned little Frances Bean when he took his life in 1994, he left Courtney Love as her sole caretaker. Which is not unlike playing airplane with your baby´s stewed carrots at feeding time, only, after you finish waving the spoon in front of her face, you inject her with heroin.
6. Michael Lohan - See Rick Hilton. And he looks like such a nice guy.
7. Father Oliver O’Grady - While not technically a father, this scumbag should be #1 on the list. Abused so many children (25), they made a movie about him (”Deliver Us From Evil”). Here’s hoping he’ll be delivered to a special place in Hell for people who use religion to take advantage of others.
8. Ozzy Osbourne - Two kids, two rehab bills. I guess those “just say no” messages just aren’t that credible coming from a guy who said he once took acid every day for a full year.
9. Rick Hilton - Real nice job on Paris, guy. She’s only a spoiled, brain-dead, exhibitionistic racist druggy jailbird. Did she call you crying from the pokey today?
10. David Hasselhoff - The Hoff, he like the drinky. What kind of jackass asks his kid to videotape him the next time he gets snockered?

Everett Calls Troops “Wimps”
English actor Rupert Everett reportedly accused British soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan of being “whining wimps.”Acording to the U.K.’s Daily Mail, the 49-year-old gay actor — whose father is a retired major in the British Army — said the troops today “are always whining about the dangers of being killed. Oh my God, they are such wimps now!” he said. Oh boy this guy is absolutely screwed. You hate the war, never the soldiers. There is going to be a huge backlash from this statement, just wait. He must want to get his ass kicked (by the straight soldiers) or possibly raped (by the gay ones).

Mena Suvari Bald Head Copycat Crime:
Britney Spears wasn’t the only starlet to suddenly shave her head last year. Not long after the pop princess did the deed, actress Mena Suvari took to the clippers — and then had to explain that she wasn’t crazy.“It didn’t really hit me until I was getting ready to come back to L.A. and I was like ooh, just wait. I think I know what’s going to happen. The comparison is going to come up,” Suvari said. “It really sucks that people could look at me and the first thing they think is ‘Oh, Mena lost her mind.’” Next thing you know she will be adopting another black kid like Angelina and Madonna…it is the NEW CRAZE ! WEEEEEEEEEEE!

Jessica Alba Had A Baby Girl Chalupa:
Jessica Alba and husband Cash Warren have welcomed a baby girl.Honor Marie Warren was born June 7 in Los Angeles, her rep, Brad Cafarelli, confirmed for Starmuscle.com. Congrats Jessica, now get your ass into the gym.

VAN HALEN 2007-2008 North American Tour Highest Grossing in Band’s History
Nearly a million fans journeyed from all over the world to witness the landmark VAN HALEN tour, which kicked-off in September of 2007 in Charlotte, NC and wrapped up June 2, 2008 in Grand Rapids, MI. VAN HALEN, featuring Eddie Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Alex Van Halen and Wolfgang Van Halen, delivered their bombastic live assault performances to legions. Aena Concerts Sell Out Across the Country, Grossing More Than $93 Million…..maybe Dave can get a new hair weeve now.

Rapper Warren G Arrested For Weed:
Warren G has been arrested on a drug charge after police pulled over the car he was riding in. olice say the 35-year-old rapper was arrested early Sunday after being pulled over for a red light violation. Officer Karen Smith says marijuana was found in the vehicle.Big deal, give me a break.

Hulk Hogan’s Kid Gets An Odd Letter:
A former teacher accused of having sex with students sent a letter of support to the jailed son of Hulk Hogan, authorities said.Stephanie Ragusa, who is also in jail, sent the letter June 2 to 17-year-old Nick Bollea, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said.The letter was intercepted by Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies after they recognized Ragusa’s name, the jail’s return address and her docket number on the envelope, authorities said. Bollea, who is serving an eight-month sentence on a charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury, was later given a copy of the letter. Wow I wonder if Nick had some inappropriate relations with this teacher. The polt thickens, people. Star Muscle will keep you posted.