Dancing With The Stars 2008

Here’s the official lineup for the new season of Dancing With The Tards (I mean Stars):

• Radio/TV personality Adam Carolla - Funny guy, tons of talent.
• Telenovela star Cristian de la Fuente - OMG he’s the Mario Lopez of this season. Let’s hope he drops the Chalupa
• R&B singer Mario - Let’s hope he’s better than Master P
• Magician Penn Jillette - Magically disappear for us. Maybe a little fusion this season?
• Actor Steve Guttenberg - Um, who did he blow to get on the show? Must be a family connection.
• Olympic Gold Medal Figure Skater Kristi Yamaguchi - Isn’t this cheating? She dances on ice already! Smash her godddamn kneecap.
• Former tennis pro Monica Seles - A lesbian on the show, cool! Teamed up with a woman….hmm?
• NFL Player Jason Taylor - Your football team sucks, focus on one thing at a time.
• Actress Shannon Elizabeth - Can we get a wardrobe malfunction PLEASE!?
• Actress Marissa Jaret Winokur - AWESOME SMILE!!!!….can’t wait to see how hot she looks if she sweats off some of her chub. Remember, bulimia is for fat chicks.
• Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin - She can FEEL the beat even if she can’t hear it…what? hmmm?
• Actress Priscilla Presley - again, only a matter of time before she was on the show.

I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater than watch this show. Enjoy! I am kinda bummed that China Doll, the ex wrestler didn’t make the cut. I know she campaigned pretty hard. Poor half-girl.