The King of All Media, Howard Stern, is interviewing the Supersluts’ old arch-nemesis, Captain Crabs (the 70s Show’s Wilmer Valderrama) about his skanky sexual exploits. With the help of his Wack Pack (Gary the Retard, Eric the Midget, Beetlejuice, Robin Quivers and Artie Lange), Stern devises a plan to enlarge his small penis through sexual powers stolen from the Superficial Friends’ vaginas via kinky robotic device the Sibian. The Superficial Friends (Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and the twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, with Space Monkey Seacrest), lured to the Sirius studio in the bulimia-o-copter by Crabs and straight into Stern’s trap, prove to be too slutty for the Sibian, and Stern orders Eric the Midget to destroy the girls. But, after fielding questions regarding Lindsay’s appearance in Herbie: Fully Loaded, the plan is foiled through the heroic last-second efforts of Seacrest, on loan from American Idol.
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