World News Headlines June 21, 2007
• Jimmy Kimmel underwent an emergency appendectomy last night. He first thought the pain was a swallowed chicken wing.
• In Touch has named Mario Lopez as having World’s Hottest Chest. In Touch must be run by women or gay guys. Good for you Mario!
• NBC bought the first interview with Paris Hilton after she gets out of jail for $1 million. Great people, throw gasoline on the fire. It’s really fair that SHE gets MORE easy money.
• Wayne Brady has a new game show called “Don’t Forget the Lyrics.â€? That show will be cancelled before you finish reading today’s headlines.
• Toilets overflowed on a flight from Amsterdam to New York, causing 7 hours of stench for the passengers. Shit happens!
• The American Film Institute is releasing it’s revamped list of the 100 greatest films of all time. They forgot to add in Borat and the ‘Made For TV Movie’: The Johnny Carson Story
• “Evan Almightyâ€? is getting horrible reviews. I think the religious redneck Right likes the Moses theme, but hate the idea that God could be black. That’s just plain blasphemous.
• Kobe Bryant is upset that the Lakers haven’t made a move for Jason Kidd. Shut up and dunk! Go coach if you think you know it all.
• The President vetoed a stem cell research bill yesterday. He’ll only approve it or secretly use it if he or another family member needed it.
• The wife of a missing US soldier is being deported. No quiero Estados Unidos!
• The FBI is hunting a woman called the “Ponytail Bandit.� No, it is not Steven Seagal!
• Heather Graham and Bridget Monahan make out in their new movie. I can smell another Mr. Skin moment!
• A naked couple were found dead after what appears to be a four-story fall. Looks like someone raised the bar in the MILE HIGH CLUB.