It’s morning time at the Hall of Anorexia as the Superficial Friends (Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and the twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, with Space Monkey Seacrest) read Perez Hilton’s gossip column for news on their slutty exploits the previous night. Stunned to find themselves starring headlines such as “Jake Gyllenboner” or “Fart City” (after Lohan held down Dakota Fanning’s head and farted on it), the sluts question how they can be friends with Perez, considering all he does is rat them out to the tabloids. The truth: Perez, with gamma-ray vision, hypnotizes the Supersluts into remaining “BFFs” in a quest to become the most powerful blogger on the internet. With the help of his pet Chihuahua Neil Patrick Harris, Perez concocts a potion consisting of Red Bull, vodka, and Britney Spears’ pubic hair, enabling him to use his blackberry to actually create controversy-generating situations, culminating in a fast-acting case of anorexia that the girls find themselves not wanting to resist. At last, it’s Space Monkey Seacrest to the rescue as he steals the blackberry, which is turned on Perez by morphing him into a People Magazine columnist.
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